You Gave Your Kid Social Media and Regret It. Now What?

Updated – Originally published April 26, 2024

If a vending machine at your high school suddenly stopped dispensing your favorite treat, would you just shrug and walk away? I wouldn’t.

I would try again, and if that didn’t work I would pound on the glass, reach up the drop box (which never works), and let a few choice words escape my mouth (like ‘oh fudge!’ This is a family blog…what were you thinking? 😉)

Once I finally realized that my angry outburst won’t change the vending machine’s behavior, I would stop pushing. I may come back a while later and check again to be sure, but largely I will accept it doesn’t work anymore and calm down. 

This analogy from a child therapist helped me understand the escalated behavior I might experience from my child when we changed our tech use at home, reigning in too lax rules that had led to unintended consequences. 

The bottom line is this: when you change a rule, expect pushback — but don’t give up. Over time, kids adjust and tempers cool while healthier habits are forming in the brain.

So, if you are one of the 2 out of 3 parents who sees how social media impacts their child negatively, it’s never too late to turn it around. 

You aren’t alone — there is a growing trend of parents delaying and reducing their kid’s social media exposure. Thank goodness it’s easier than ever now, thanks to companies who are dedicated to protecting kids online.

This article walks you through options. 

Getting Rid of Social Media

Many kids and teens report feeling relieved when given a break from social media, even if they resist at first.

It’s important to approach taking away social media from a child or teen with understanding. Discuss the reasons behind the decision, give them some input in the plan, and offer alternative ways for them to stay connected with friends. 

A break from social media can be short, long, or permanent depending on the child’s needs.

Step 1: Discussing the reasons behind the decision 

Before changing anything, consider talking to your child about how they feel about social media. They might be recognizing the same issues you are. For example, nearly half (46%) of kids aged 13-17 recognized that social media makes them feel worse about themselves. 

If your child is one of the growing number of teens who are willing to give up social media because they recognize the ill effects, your job just got easier.

If your child is still resistant or outright against it, listen more than you talk. Ask questions with curiosity and empathy instead of judgement. Patiently sharing facts about the dangers of social media can help. 

You can join them in deleting social media to model the behavior and go through the process together.

If parents want to see a change in their children’s social media habits, they should model healthy social media use for them! It’s difficult to trust an authority figure who says “Do as I say, not as I do.”

In the end, if your child doesn’t buy into ending social media, you as the parent knows what is best and can stay the course. 

Dangers of Social Media

If your child can recognize — even in small ways — the negative impacts social media is having on them, it could motivate them to be on board with changing things. 

The stats below may help your child understand why a step back from social media can benefit them. This is meant to inform, not alarm or overwhelm.

Teens on social media are also at a higher risk of:

• Increased levels of depression and anxiety
• Poor academic performance
• Being bullied online
• Sharing inappropriate content
• Sleeping less
• Losing body confidence
• Developing an eating disorder
• Developing an addiction 
• Being sexual blackmailed
• Interacting with online predators
  

Unfortunately, not every child or teen is going to recognize or admit the effects of social media right away. Either way, you as the parent can make changes to help them, even if they hate it right now. 

Tips Going Into the Conversation

Every child is different but all can benefit from empathy and patience from us as parents. 

Tips for the Conversation

• Express love & care – Make it clear this decision is about their well-being, not punishment.
• Be honest – Clearly communicate why the rule is changing, even if it’s hard to hear.
• Acknowledge their perspective – Losing access to something peers have can be tough, especially if an incident prompted this change. Stay firm but understanding.
• Own your mistakes – Parenting involves course correction. Apologize if needed, but stand by your decision.
• Share the facts – Explain social media’s impact on teen mental health to help them understand.
• Emphasize trust – You trust them, but not everyone online has good intentions.
• Give notice – If closing or deactivating their accounts, allow time to wrap up conversations.
• Create alternatives – Plan fun activities together to fill the gap.

Sample Conversations

You can’t predict exactly how your child will react, but preparing in advance can help you guide the discussion in a positive way. Here’s an example approach:

Before taking social media away, brainstorm some activities that can replace those benefits of social media. Plan get-togethers with family, encourage your teens to hang out with friends, help them find a part-time job or new sport, discover a creative outlet like painting or sculpting, or go on a camping trip.

Step 2: Deleting Social Media

How you remove a child’s access to social media is up to you. Some parents swap their child’s adult smartphone for a phone without social media and/or lock their smartphone away. 

Many parents delete, deactivate (so later they can reactivate their account and get everything back), or change the password on their child’s social media accounts to prevent them from accessing them on another device.

Social media accounts like Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook can all be deactivated or deleted easily.

You may also consider blocking social media app downloads on your child’s device or switching them to a safe phone made for teens.

Be aware that some teens may create new accounts or fake accounts they hide from parents on their friend’s phones or on a web browser.

For some teens, approaching this as an extended step away from social media (aka a digital detox) instead of losing it forever may prevent them from creating hidden accounts because they know they will get access again. 

Parents can use their best judgment here, and some will decide it’s best to remove social media permanently. 

What is a Digital Detox?

A digital detox is taking a step away from technology, such as social media, for a set period of time to reset habits and gain perspective. 

More and more teens are embracing digital detoxes as a trend with great benefits. 

A digital detox can be short, or as long as a year or more. The longer the break, the more lasting the results can be.

A digital detox can be short or as long as a year or more. Especially if your child is younger, a more permanent step away from social media until late teens or adulthood has major advantages. 

The longer the detox, the more lasting the results can be. Below are the pros and cons of a digital detox. 

Digital Detox Pros:

✅ Teens gain a fresh perspective on how social media and technology impact their mental health.
✅ Families can participate together, strengthening relationships without digital distractions.
✅ Even a short detox—just three days—can start rewiring the brain’s neural pathways, while longer breaks lead to even stronger, lasting benefits.

Cons:

 ⚠️ Without clear boundaries in place, old screen habits can return once the detox ends.

⚠️ The first few days or weeks may bring irritability or withdrawal symptoms, as the brain adjusts—similar to breaking an addiction.

⚠️ Unless you delete (permanent) or deactivate (profiles can be restored later) their social media accounts, kids could still access them from friends phones or from a web browser. 

⚠️ Kids can create new fake social media accounts, called Finstas, that parents don’t know about. 

A digital detox isn’t just about taking a break; it’s about resetting your relationship with technology. With the right follow-up habits, the benefits can last far beyond the detox period.

Step 3: Replacing Social Media with Healthier Options

Replace screen time with activities that support well-being and real connections of your child.

Emotional avoidance vs healthier emotional regulation

Social media is often used by teenagers as a distraction from difficult emotions. Practicing mindfulness and meditation as a family can create space for kids to feel their emotions healthily.

Entertainment   

Your child may join social media for entertainment, but studies show that boredom can help kids develop planning strategies, problem-solving skills, flexibility, and organizational skills. 

Isolation vs better connections  

Kids may want to be on social media to connect with friends and family. And as a parent, I never want my child to be left out. This can feel like an impossible dilemma: expose my child to dangers vs. seemingly make them an outcast? Honestly, both seem like an unfair option in today’s world. 

The irony is that while social media may seem like a great tool for connection, the research shows that using social media leads to increased feelings of isolation and separation from peers. 

Knowing these kids will also be “left out” of all the dangers and mental health struggles social media can bring  — including isolation — helps me keep perspective. I also try to think years ahead when my kids are grown – what decisions can I live with?

The good news is, it’s easier today to delay social media for kids. It’s a growing trend among parents, so my child isn’t the only one without it at school. And the growing number of companies dedicated to keeping kids safe online makes it so much easier. 

Connection can also be attained via technology and without social media through devices that don’t have social media apps.

Commitment free vs meaningful connection  

Online friendships are easily ended without conflict resolution. It’s so prevalent there is even a teen slang term for it — “ghosting” — when you just stop talking to a person without explanation. While this can be appropriate if someone is harassing you online, it can be a problem if kids don’t learn conflict resolution skills.

Kids need real, face-to-face, uncurated interactions with friends and family. In real life if a disagreement occurs, kids can learn how to work out conflict (a critical life skill) because it’s hard to avoid when that person goes to your school or is in your family. 

Skewed vs whole world view 

Social media may also be used by teens to keep up with news and world events. However, algorithms on social media can only serve them topics and perspectives they already have “liked,” limiting their learning from a world view and preventing them from developing perspective. 

News and novel experiences can be found outside of social media in community and school events, through subscribing to free newsletters from reputable news outlets, and discovered at local museums and art galleries.

“Likes” vs real confidence 

Kids may want social media for the social affirmations they receive. But kids can build confidence by trying new things and making face-to-face friends. 

They may also feel more comfortable pursuing a new hobby or learning a new skill without feeling they need to post their progress online for others’ approval. 

To Reintroduce Social Media or Not? That is the Question

Some parents will find the impacts of eliminating social media so impactful they keep it up for many months or years, with some never reintroducing it. 

Other parents will follow up a detox with a slow re-introduction to social media once the child shows they are ready to try again.

Pro tip from a fellow parent (who is actually not a pro at this, let’s be honest) — giving clear goals a teen can strive for to earn a gradual reintroduction to social media can be a great motivator. 

Some goals we use in our home include talking politely to parents and siblings, maintaining certain grades, spending time outside with friends face-to-face, and contributing to the household (aka chores). We are not expecting them to be perfect at any of these, but show growth and effort.

Some parents choose to allow a small amount of social media around age 17 to give their child a year to “test drive” social media with parental oversight.

They reintroduce social media with limitations and monitoring to help their child develop healthy digital habits, build self-discipline and critical thinking skills while reducing the negative impacts of social media.

However, there are still risks to be aware of. For example, if your teen shares a nude image of an underage classmate, sexting laws allow them to be charged with distribution of child pornography. A new bill could even make it a felony to share non-consentual nude images. 

Apps today make creating nudes shockingly easy, with nudify apps using AI to create pornographic images from photos of fully clothed people. 

Teens can be tried as adults for these crimes, leading to serious implications for the rest of their lives. 

Gabb phones are built with smart monitoring to prevent kids from receiving or sending nude images, protecting them from these costly mistakes. 

For parents who feel their older child is ready to try again, social media can be slowly reintroduced – possibly on a family public computer or a parent’s phone – while they learn to set their own boundaries around technology.

Pros to reintroducing social media:

✅ Older teens who are mature enough for social media can still stay connected with friends while developing healthier tech habits and balancing real-life activities.

✅ Studies show that limiting social media to 30 minutes a day reduces loneliness, anxiety, depression, and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
✅ Most social media sites have recently rolled out parental controls, making it easier to manage screen time.

✅Parents can provide a kids-safe phone without social media and allow their kids to access social media on a public home computer or their own parent smartphone to increase safety.

Cons to reintroducing social media:

⚠️ Even with limited time and monitoring, kids may still encounter inappropriate content or harmful online interactions on social media.

⚠️Parental controls are not foolproof, and kids can find ways around them.
⚠️ Enforcing limits can be challenging, and some parents find in the long run, it’s actually harder to allow some social media time than eliminating it completely for a time. 

Taking away social media can be a painful experience for you and your child at first. It’s difficult to know exactly how a child might respond, and after a few arguments or tantrums, you may feel tempted to give in and let your child keep social media after all. 

But remember the vending machine analogy – after you hold fast to the new norm and they realize their behavior isn’t getting what they want anymore, they will stop pushing back as hard.

Over time, they will likely see the benefits as their brain pathways rewire and their behavior improves. 

It’s vital that you ride out the transition period rather than relent. Boundaries are healthy for kids and parents only have to give in to their kids’ outbursts once for kids to stop trusting them and consistently push boundaries.

Coping with a Child’s FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

If you’ve chosen to ban social media in your home, you may face resistance from your child — especially when they experience Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). 

While this is a valid concern for youth today, ironically, social media fuels more FOMO by constantly showing what others are doing that they weren’t invited to. 

Without it, teens can be more content in their own lives without feeling the pressure to constantly “keep up.”

If teens don’t use social media, they may feel like they’re missing out, but in reality, they’re avoiding many negative experiences. Here are five positive things they’ll “miss out” on:

1. Cyberbullying – Without social media, teens can avoid online harassment, drama, and the pressure of negative comments. This helps protect their self-esteem and mental well-being.
   
2. Unrealistic Comparisons – Social media often creates unrealistic beauty, success, and lifestyle standards. Without it, teens are less likely to compare themselves to filtered, curated versions of others.
   
3. Screen Addiction & Wasted Time – Social media can be a massive time drain. Without it, teens have more time for hobbies, in-person friendships, physical activity, and personal growth.
   
4. Online Predators & Privacy Risks – Without social media, teens reduce their risk to being groomed by predators, phishing scams, and personal data exploitation. Their digital footprint remains safer and more private.
   
5. Toxic Trends & Dangerous Challenges – Social media often promotes risky viral trends, from unhealthy beauty fads to dangerous stunts. Without it, teens are less likely to be influenced by peer pressure to participate in harmful behaviors.

By skipping social media, teens gain more than they lose—more peace, real-life experiences, and authentic connections.

Co-Parenting & Social Media

Ideally, adults in co-parented or blended families will be on the same page and present a united front when addressing social media’s impact on their child. However, that is not always possible.

If you believe your child should not have social media but your co-parent disagrees, navigating the situation can be challenging. Here are some ideas on how to approach it constructively:

1. Start with Open Communication

Begin with a calm, fact-based discussion with your child’s other parent. Share your concerns about social media, supporting your stance with research or expert opinions. Keep the conversation focused on your child’s well-being rather than personal differences.

If discussions stall, consider seeking guidance from a mediator, family counselor, or co-parenting coach. A neutral third party can help navigate disagreements while keeping the focus on what’s best for your child.

2. Seek Compromise

If a complete ban isn’t possible, consider negotiating boundaries. Could your child wait until a certain age? Can you agree on monitored use, limited screen time, or safety settings? Finding middle ground may help both of you feel heard while protecting your child.

If you have a parenting agreement or custody order, review it. Some plans include guidelines on technology use. If social media isn’t covered, consider revisiting your agreement to add digital safety terms.

3. Lead by Example

Even if your child has social media at the other parent’s home, you can still set expectations when they are with you. Model healthy tech habits, encourage open discussions, and educate them about online risks. Encourage them to come to you for guidance or help when needed and assure them that they will not get in trouble with you if they make a mistake online and need help. 

Parenting after divorce isn’t easy, but keeping the focus on your child’s well-being will guide you to the best possible outcome.

A Parent’s Perspective

Having a child step back from social media can be challenging, but hearing from parents who have been through it can be helpful.

Below is the perspective of Dan, a parent who banned social media and has seen significant benefits.

What made you decide to take back social media from your child? 

“While my son was using the social platform Discord he was contacted through DMs, cyberbullied and threatened. Our personal information was doxxed (leaked online), including where we lived. 

As a result, our family was swatted five times in just two months — fake 911 calls sent swarms of police to our home.

Through the whole process, my family was stressed and anxious, including my son. We ended up agreeing together that it was best for him and the family to delete Discord.”

How did your child react to losing access to social media?

“He was in agreement as it created a ton of stress for him and he felt so sad that it affected the entire family.”

What challenges did you face?

“Overall, I think this has been a great decision for him, and he agrees. This has been a great thing overall though as he’s reclaimed his childhood and doesn’t feel pressure anymore.”

What benefits have you seen?

“He has shifted his focus to playing basketball with friends and his younger brother. He also loves going to the gym. He’s much more active, has improved his skill in basketball, and has been able to bond more with his brother playing a sport they never used to play together.”

As this story shows, you are not alone in considering a step back from social media for your child. The benefits can be significant.

If your child started using social media too early, removing access can be a loving way to course-correct, allowing both of you to learn and grow together. When we know better, we do better.

What did we miss? How do you handle social media in your household? Let us know in the comments!