What is NGL?

NGL — a name derived from the texting slang term, which stands for “not gonna lie” — is a social network platform that encourages users to share their thoughts and opinions anonymously.

Previous to digital platforms, teenagers could typically only wonder what their peers really thought of them. Today, anonymous apps such as NGL, Formspring and Ask.fm, have become a double-edged sword for kids seeking validation and connection. 

As these anonymous apps become more popular, it’s important to take a closer look and educate ourselves, especially if our kids are using them. On the NGL homepage, it states the company believes friends should have a fun and safe way to share their thoughts without feeling shame.

But does that solve NGL’s issues? How safe is NGL? Should kids be allowed to download it?

What Is NGL App Used For?

NGL is a popular social media platform that acts as a personal inbox to receive anonymous messages from friends. The app is designed to work alongside Instagram but can also be used elsewhere.

How Does NGL Work?

To begin, users download the NGL app and are asked to input their Instagram handle (meaning the user must have an Instagram account to get started). Using this information, NGL creates a unique link for each user. 

What Is an NGL Link?

Each user is given their own distinct NGL link. They can then post these links to their Instagram stories with captions such as “Send me anonymous messages,” “Ask me anything anonymously,” or “Tell me what you REALLY think about me!”

Followers then respond by clicking on the link, typing a message, and hitting “Send!” 

Users receive messages in their NGL inbox without knowing who sent them. If your child’s Instagram account is public, anyone can click on their NGL link and send them a message saying practically anything. Let that sink in…

Can you have a private conversation on NGL?

You cannot have a private conversation on NGL. The only way to reply to a message is to post it on your Instagram story. 

After opening a message, users can select the “Reply” icon, which takes them back to Instagram to create another story featuring the original message and their response. 

Since all their friends can see their story, replying is always public and validates the shared feedback.

It also creates the perfect storm for a knee-jerk reaction. If the comment is hurtful, it may seem reasonable to lash back out and share more than is wise.

While users can post their NGL link on any social media site, replies can only be made through Instagram.

Is NGL Really Anonymous?

While messages are anonymous, users can pay a weekly or monthly fee to receive hints, which can include the time and place the message was sent, as well as the type of phone and IP address used. For a higher price, usernames can be revealed. 

In 2022, users discovered that if their shared NGL links didn’t get any engagement, the app would generate content pretending to be a peer. Users would then pay to receive hints about someone who doesn’t exist. Many felt scammed (rightfully so).

Is NGL Safe for Kids?

Though it seems innocent enough, NGL presents several dangers to kids. In addition to requiring an Instagram account, which comes with its own set of risks, NGL’s biggest dangers are its potential use by cyberbullies and the way it encourages young people to obsess about what other people think of them.

Cyberbullying on NGL

Since their conception, anonymous sharing apps have caused parents concern. 

Kids saying anything they want without fearing any consequences? It’s a recipe for cyberbullying disasters.

In March of 2022, Snapchat banned these types of apps on their platform after facing lawsuits from parents of children who had died by suicide after being cyberbullied. 

With the potential for danger, NGL touts its ability to create a kid-safe experience through its “world-class AI moderation.” 

According to their website, this filters out harmful messages or bullying. Unfortunately, the filter doesn’t live up to NGL’s hype. While it won’t allow for blatantly harmful messages like “Go kill yourself,” it does not filter out less explicitly dangerous rhetoric like “Everyone hates you,” “You’re fat and ugly,” or “I think you’re a loser.”

The AI moderation also allows users to send profanity, threatening emojis (like knives), and sexual messages. 

The filter does not block users who have previously sent mean messages. Bullies have unlimited chances to try and hurt people they know.

NGL feeds insecurities

Even if NGL could filter out bullying and explicit language, it would still be unhealthy for teens to use. 

Even if NGL could filter out every instance of bullying or explicit language, it would still hurt teens by encouraging them to obsess over what their peers think of them.

The underlying concept — receiving anonymous messages about what your peers think of you — feeds insecurity and focuses teens on themselves. In turn, this leads to an increase in mental health problems, lack of self-esteem, and lower life satisfaction.

Don’t Just Say No

Teenagers naturally want to know what their peers think. This curiosity is what makes NGL so popular. 

Instead of telling our kids they can’t use the app, explaining why it isn’t a good idea will provide a great learning moment.

Prepare for pushback! When a kid wants an app, they can be relentless. Know that other parents are facing the same challenge. As a parent, you know what is best for your child. Let them know the answer isn’t never, just not yet.

Talking to Kids about Apps

Teens who have NGL can gain some insights into themselves by discussing the messages they have received and how they feel about them. Tough conversations like these give kids a chance to consider whether the app increases or decreases their life satisfaction.

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Questions To Start Conversations

• Why do you think it is dangerous to be too concerned with what others think about you?
• How might this app be dangerous for your younger siblings or friends? Do the same dangers apply to you?
• What does this app focus its users on? Why might this be problematic?
• What are some reasons people would use this app? What are healthier alternatives to achieve the same ends?

Educating kids about cyberbullying and the dangers of obsessing too much about other people’s opinions can help.

Parents can also encourage their children to build healthy relationships with others — fostering emotional security, self-confidence, and self-acceptance rather than the scrutiny that can be found on NGL.

How do you help kids build real self-esteem and stay safe online? Let us know in the comments!