How does the internet impact young boys?

As a parent, you’re probably concerned about what type of content your child is looking for online. But have you ever thought about what type of content is finding them instead? 

Algorithms show not only the content that your kid is interested in, but the content that the algorithm thinks they’ll like, too. This is especially true for boys—new research has found that algorithms are feeding them problematic content about masculinity, appearance, and relationships, even when they’re searching for innocent things like gaming.

Instead of boys actively seeking out harmful content, harmful content is seeking them. And this type of content can, at its mildest, quietly shape their self-esteem, increase feelings of loneliness, and influence how they see themselves and their place in the world.

But, at worst, the same algorithmic patterns can steer boys towards the extreme ideology of movements like incel communities and the broader “manosphere,” where misogyny and distorted beliefs about gender thrive.

Here’s what you should know.

Young boys are exposed to content about masculinity—whether or not they’re looking for it

According to The Washington Post, a recent Common Sense Media study found that 73% of boys are exposed to online content about masculinity, spanning topics like “money, fitness, dating, gambling and fighting.”

Sixty-nine percent of boys reported that the content they find promotes “problematic” gender stereotypes. And young boys are often getting exposed to problematic content without even looking for it.

According to The New York Times, a recent report had researchers creating fake social media accounts, posing as teen boys, “to determine how quickly misogynistic videos show up in users’ TikTok and YouTube feeds.”

One group searched typical teen-boy search terms, like “gym tips” and “gaming,” while the other searched for “male-supremacist content.”

Per The New York Times, “It took under nine minutes for TikTok to offer troubling content to their fake 16-year-old boys.”

Michael Robb, head of research at Common Sense Media, told The Washington Post, “The point is that they’re getting these messages, whether they ask for it or not.”

What type of content is being aimed at young boys?

According to The Washington Post some of the problematic content that the majority of young boys find includes the ideas that:

• Women and girls are treated better than men and boys.
• “Girls use their looks to get what they want.”
• Women and girls are only romantically interested in “tall, wealthy and attractive men.”

These ideas are a few basic tenets of the manosphere, or an online network of influencers who promote “right-wing politics and misogyny,” according to The Guardian. 

Additionally, 91% of boys said they came across “appearance-focused content online,” according to The Washington Post. This is often called looksmaxxing online. 

A lot of this content encourages young boys to look muscular, but Robb said that it also emphasizes “the importance of being tall and having clear skin or having a good jawline.”

Interestingly, according to Robb, 12% of boys “reported seeing content that suggests that boys are treated unfairly compared to girls.” It’s an idea that’s common among incels—short for “involuntarily celibate”—suggesting that incel ideology is not as pervasive as it might seem.

Robb said that most boys didn’t even know what “incel” meant. He continued, “I think there is an impression, if you watch the news, that kids are just awash in the most toxic stuff all the time, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true.”

While most young boys might not have heard specific terms that are common among incels online, many of the ideas that young boys are exposed to—such as women using their looks to get whatever they want—are commonly believed among incel communities.

How is this extreme content impacting young boys?

Unsurprisingly, this content does impact young boys. For example, one in four boys said that coming across “appearance-focused content” “made them feel like they should change their own physical appearance,” according to The Washington Post. 

Additionally, boys who were exposed to a lot of masculinity content were reported to be lonely and/or have low self-esteem—although, according to Robb, “the nature of that correlation isn’t entirely clear.”

He said, “We can say it’s possible that kids who are lonely are seeking out or finding this content or that this content is making them more lonely, or—as with many of these things—it could be a combination of both.”

Regardless of the cause, boys and young men are lonelier. There’s been plenty of handwringing about the male loneliness crisis, and experts think that social media is making it worse.

Author and podcaster Scott Galloway wrote in Notes on Being a Man, “Meanwhile, algorithmically generated content on social media contributes to—and profits from—young men’s growing social isolation, boredom, and ignorance.” 

He continues, “With the deepest-pocketed firms on the planet trying to convince young men they can have a reasonable facsimile of life on a screen, many grow up without acquiring the skills to build social capital or create wealth.”

What should parents do?

If you suspect that your son is coming across problematic content, Robb told The Washington Post that it’s important to broach the topic without judgement. 

“If you come in and have very strong attitudes about a particular influencer or a particular kind of content, you risk shutting down the conversation and you don’t want to do that, even if you disagree with what your kids are watching,” Robb said. 

Instead, ask questions with openness and curiosity. And encourage positive conversations about masculinity. 

As Michael Flood wrote for The Guardian, “Talking to boys about masculinity will go better if we take a positive and empathetic approach, focused on supporting boys to build healthy, equitable relationships and friendships.” 

According to Robb and the Common Sense Media report, this is especially important. Boys who had more real-life connections with friends and family “reported better mental health and self-esteem and were better able to navigate the digital landscape without absorbing harmful masculine messages,” according to The Washington Post.

Instead of demonizing social media—which could potentially drive your son to social media even more—encourage them to foster their in-person friendships. 

There’s good news

As a parent, you have more control than you might think. This isn’t about whether your son has access to technology—it’s about what kind of technology he has access to.

When you understand how algorithms work and what they’re designed to do, you can make informed choices about the devices and platforms your child uses. Technology can be a tool for connection and learning—when it’s designed with kids’ wellbeing in mind, not engagement metrics.

Start by having those open conversations with your son. Then take a look at the technology in his hands and ask: Is this designed for him, or is it designed to profit from him?

Have you seen social media impact young boys? And how? Let us know in the comments.