Life in the Deep End: Is My Generation Destined to Drown?

We are the generation that was thrown into the digital deep end. I hear this all around me, every day — coming from news outlets, my parents, scientific research, and even my fellow Gen Z’ers. Some days, I find it all infuriating. Some days, I’m indifferent.

I accept that my generation was raised in the middle of the biggest boom in tech innovation the world has ever seen, and that has consequences. But while the experts are busy debating data sets and generational trends to determine what all of this did to Gen Z, Gen Z can’t just sit and wait for a conclusion. We’re here, waking up every morning in pursuit of happiness just like every generation before. 

It’s not that I’m oblivious to all the discussion about technology. It’s that when it comes to how that discussion should translate to decisions in my own life, I honestly don’t know what to do. 

Gen Z childhood (which apparently was an unmitigated disaster) is behind us, but Gen Z adulthood is not. Where do I go from here? What can I expect of the rest of my life? What can we all expect of the generation of kids we Gen Z’ers are going to raise?

All I Know is the Deep End

I grew up in a conservative household with plenty of rules, but technology seemed to be an alien entity — disconnected from the economy of our household politics and beliefs. My parents knew how to deal with alcohol and drugs and took a severe stance against them. They told me to dress modestly and to never be alone with a boy in my bedroom. But when iPhones came into the fore, I don’t recall a single sit-down conversation, or really any specific rules at all.

My parents were suddenly in new territory. They were just beginning to navigate social media for themselves, so they were totally unequipped to help their kids deal with it. 

This isn’t to say they weren’t thoughtful. They made efforts to make sure that we were safe from the obvious dangers of technology, which, like many other conservative parents, focused almost entirely on the sudden and total access to pornography that an iPhone could give.

But they didn’t know how problematic social media usage can be. Nobody was making connections between social media use and self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Nobody was talking about cyberbullying or body shaming. I’m not sure if terms like “sexting” had even been coined by then. My siblings and I were left to navigate those issues entirely on our own, and we started early.

I got my first iPhone when I started middle school at age 12. My parents did limit my access to open internet browsing, but they (like most of my friends’ parents) let me get an Instagram account. And, with no limitations on screen time, I also had unlimited access to as much YouTube, Netflix, or Hulu as I wanted. This was pretty typical, at least in the community where I lived. In fact, conversations about limiting screen time didn’t really begin until I was in high school.

I don’t blame my parents. Like many other parents of the time, they were doing the best they could with the information they had. They just had no idea what kind of impact social media could have on us.

A Word from the Experts

I’m 23 and doing my best to navigate the adult world. I’m sure many of the challenges I’m facing are common to growing up in any age. But what is new for those of us who got tossed in the deep end of the digital swimming pool is doing all this growing up against the backdrop of seemingly everyone describing our childhood as an unprecedented and tragically failed social experiment. I can’t say I love that.

I want to believe that the experts are wrong, that the data is skewed or too novel to be credible, or that this is simply an exaggerated version of crotchety older generations saying the same thing the generations before them said. But there is real empirical evidence that social media has been incredibly harmful to mental health — even to my mental health. 

Study after study indicates that teenage social media use leads to depression, lower self-esteem, disordered eating, physical appearance perfectionism, loneliness, stress and anxiety, and poor sleep. 

Even though those studies include large amounts of data that point to trends, those studies all point to the impact of social media on individuals. Nowadays, many are also trying to connect social media to broader social ills, like, for example, the struggling US economy, rapidly dissolving social norms, or a collective, diminished work ethic. 

The shocking GameStop stock-buying coup from early 2021 suggests my generation’s unprecedented ability to manipulate specific elements of the economy. But the empirical evidence indicates that social media is not associated with changes in the economy in a broader sense. 

Spend any amount of time on Reddit or Instagram and it’s easy to find a lot of opinions about my generation and our impact on social norms. On the compassionate end, the popular perception is that we are innovative, kind, and open-minded. On the more harsh end, the perception is that we are lazy, anxious, and narcissistic. These opposing opinions come from both my own generation and older generations. But is there proof of either extreme?

Social media has also played a significant role in shaping contemporary social norms. Hundreds of social media accounts, forums, and platforms foster open-mindedness and acceptance, with users often rushing to one another’s defense in the face of hate and criticism. 

Informal communities on Instagram have allowed individuals to share their unique stories and experiences, promoting empathy and understanding among peers. Studies have indicated social media’s positive impacts on socialization, communication skills, and education among children and adolescents. This shift towards inclusivity and acceptance in online spaces reflects a promising trend toward a more empathetic and diverse generation.

Studies also indicate changes in attitudes toward work in general. While Baby Boomers historically centralized work in their lives, Gen Z is more inclined to value leisure over work. Baby Boomers tend to place a high moral value on “hard work,” believing that it makes one exceptionally motivated and valuable. My generation tends to lean away from prescribing morality to work ethic and seems to view work as a means to an end rather than the ultimate prize. 

Work behaviors are evolving at an alarming rate. Historically, our parents could build and support a family on a single income, as long as they worked hard and kept at it. Meanwhile, my generation doesn’t have nearly the same potential for financial growth. We understand that we’ll likely work most of our lives, and we watched our parents do the same. We’re not lazy, we just place more value on our personal time, work/life balance, and mental well-being than on financial advancement. Is social media to blame for this thought revolution?

Regardless of where the issues stem from, my generation still has no idea how we feel about social media and its impact. 

Gen Z Feels Powerless Against Social Media

The truth is that many of my generation don’t know how they feel about social media. We’ve seen the effects it has on our self-esteem, efficiency, work ethic, and anxiety. But we are also so entrenched in technology these days that social media is practically inescapable. 

We all know the science and that it can be addictive and unhealthy, but our experiences vary so much — sometimes on an hourly basis — that the issue doesn’t seem urgent enough to need to do much about it. 

Like many of my peers, I’m not exactly happy with the impact social media has had on my relationships and social interactions. Since researching this article, I’ve noticed how frequently my parents, siblings, and I devolve into designated “social media time” at family dinners, all sitting in silence occasionally interrupted by a chuckle or a sigh. I’ve noticed how quick I am to pull up Instagram between housework tasks and lose hours of my day to social media and doom-scrolling. I see how easily it keeps me from chatting with my husband about his day after he and I get home from work. And it’s an immense relief to pull out my phone and scroll social media during my hair appointment rather than try to make conversation. 

These little respites from energy-sapping social interactions are convenient and comfortable enough to keep all of us hooked on social media. But I don’t think that’s entirely a bad thing. 

Social Media Isn’t All Bad (or All Good)

My experience with social media is blended, and it changes every day. Some days, my algorithm presents me with inspiring and hopeful messages from people I would never otherwise interact with. On other days, my algorithm is full of “brain rot,” or low-effort content that makes me second guess my stance on whether social media is frying my brain. 

But the content I see is totally up to me. If I start endlessly scrolling with no end other than fast entertainment, social media will do what social media does best and give me exactly the mindless content I’m asking for. 

On those unintentional, directionless social media days, I often feel incredibly pessimistic about my generation’s bizarre sense of humor. 

I worry about the people forming parasocial, or unreal connections with influencers. 

I feel sick knowing that social media has become a news outlet for many people, which means that misinformation is rife and people are misled all the time. 

I’m confronted with the deep issues of consumerism as I scroll past every influencer promoting a new product that will undoubtedly be bought and then trashed by their thousands of followers. 

On those days, I’m typically left feeling lonely, confused, and unfulfilled. 

But when I’m mindful of my social media use and I seek it out, my content becomes truly remarkable. 

I get to hear the experiences of individuals who are differently abled or who hail from unique cultures, those gracefully grappling with grief, or building their small businesses. 

I seek out people who make concerted efforts to be authentic on social media, and they often inspire me to live more authentically and be more kind. 

I feel empowered to rally together digitally with my peers against social issues. 

I learn more from individuals who use their influence to speak out against consumerism and encourage people to be more conscious of their environmental impact. 

I feel connected with peers who are struggling like me with money, self-esteem, and adulthood. 

Ultimately, my experience with social media depends so much on my intention, and an extreme perspective demonizing or deifying social media will always be untrue. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

Look, as much as we’d love to give a final verdict on social media and its impacts, it’s not that simple.

Think of it in terms of transportation. Outside of big metros with cheap and accessible public transportation, it’s not really possible to keep up with the modern world without a car. Only 5% of American workers have access to and regularly use public transportation, and on average, Americans spend about an hour a day driving to and from work. And when you consider that only 1.2% of metropolitan land is walkable in the United States, it’s easy to see how getting around without a car in the U.S. is almost impossible. 

Now consider how a horrifying total of 1.35 million people die in car crashes globally every year. Clearly, at such a high cost, we don’t just use cars because they’re convenient. We do it because they’re necessary to keep up with our world. We’re not unreasonable or naive for keeping our cars and then driving as carefully and responsibly as we can.

Just like we keep driving our cars and accepting the risks to reap the rewards, isn’t it possible that we’ll find a way to use social media to our benefit, not our detriment? 

Maybe the flip phone frenzy will take over and social media won’t be a part of my children’s lives. Maybe we’ll learn how to outsmart the algorithm and find a way to truly benefit from social media.

There is a spark of hope here – legislation is getting better at forcing Big Tech to act more responsibly, especially in protecting kids online from predators, bullying, and mental illness. Millions of parents and teachers are working hard to draw attention to the issues with social media and rally for change. 

My peers are working hard to change our relationship with social media for ourselves and our children. We have hope that we’ll be better equipped to protect our children and insulate them from social media. 

We may have been let down in the past by how our government and Big Tech have left us to fend for ourselves. But we’re not taking it sitting down, and we certainly won’t let it happen again. We know that we need technology for connection, but we’re not compromising safety to get there.

Yes, my generation was tossed in the deep end. But, what I believe, is that if any generation can figure out how to navigate social media responsibly, it’s mine. Even if we’ve already been written off as doomed.