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Cell phones, including cell phones for kids, are a lot like power tools: both can be used to build or to demolish.
We wouldn’t dream of allowing a child to play with a circular saw. Why, then, are so many of us willing to turn them loose with a smartphone?
The power tool analogy may seem extreme. Kids phones aren’t likely to take off any fingers, but they can do serious damage on another important front: your family relationships.
If you’re considering a cell phone for kids, don’t get the wrong idea — chances are, your family will be just fine. But do be deliberate.
How will you make sure that any safe kid phone you introduce into your home will help strengthen your family bonds?
As parents, we should remember that kids are engaging with technology without advantages we, as adults, take for granted.
Kids do not have the wisdom that comes from decades of life experience. The decision-making area of their brain has not fully developed. Their emotions take the wheel more often than not. In short, the “obvious” right choice is rarely so obvious to kids.
Parents need to be discerning about which parts of the decision-making process they allow their kids to control. Kids’ concerns and preferences matter, of course. But when it comes to choosing a kids phone, parents need to step in.
Introducing a phone into your child’s life is a big step, but it’s also an opportunity to establish trust and clear expectations from the start. Before diving into specifics, take time to reflect on how a phone fits into your family’s goals. Is it to ensure safety, teach responsibility, or encourage independence? Let’s lay the groundwork for a positive and balanced phone experience!
Smartphones are everywhere today so we might take for granted how far we’ve come. Today, a kid with a smartphone holds more computing horsepower than was contained in the entire Apollo 11 rocket as it blasted off for the moon in 1969.
It’s an amazing time to be alive.
Parents don’t need to operate out of fear when deciding when and how to get a safe kids cell phone. But we never want to lose sight of the potential for our children to use that power irresponsibly or — more importantly — for that power to be used against them.
Written lists keep everyone accountable. As an added bonus, your list may come in handy should companies try to upsell you to features you’ve already agreed are not needed.
Every family is unique. You should expect that your list will look different than your neighbors’. As you put pen to paper, these three categories might help you nail down the specifics.
Make this category your No. 1 priority, regardless of whether your kids agree. You might even let them know that their safety was your deciding factor in looking into cell phones for kids in the first place. Discuss different scenarios where a phone might provide value, such as emergencies or keeping track of the child’s location. Also, consider potential risks like cyberbullying or exposure to inappropriate content. Identifying these factors will help determine what safeguards should be in place before handing your child a phone.
A huge pro to a child getting a phone is the ability to stay in touch, especially with busy schedules. A safe phone for kids should be parent communication devices first and foremost. A parent’s calls and texts should get response-time priority over those of the child’s friends. On the con side, don’t forget to talk about how too much screen time might disrupt face-to-face interactions and negatively affect their relationships. Listing these points will help ensure communication is a relationship strengthening tool.
A phone is a big responsibility. Together, list all the ways in which you expect your child to grow by getting a phone. Do you want your child to learn communication skills? Time management? Creativity? Perhaps you expect your child will use it for group projects at school, or to further progress in extracurricular activities. At the same time, weigh developmental concerns like potential overdependence on technology or premature exposure to social media.
A great way to establish boundaries and expectations around your child’s phone use is to create a family pact. While some families find it helpful to write out a formal contract, do what will actually work for your family. You may simply have an open discussion where everyone contributes to setting the ground rules.
This pact isn’t about control; it’s about mutual respect and making sure technology doesn’t interfere with important family values and responsibilities.
The surest way to cut fatty foods out of your diet is to avoid buying them in the first place. Similarly, the best way to keep dangerous content off your kid’s phone is to choose a device that can’t access it.
When shopping for safe phones for kids, don’t let yourself be taken out of the driver’s seat. Slick features may sound great, but they may not be useful — much less safe — for kids.
Kids have been playing games throughout all of recorded human history. What’s different about phone games? Many are insidiously addictive.
Most game developers have a vested interest in “gamifying” their products. Many phone games are designed to keep players engaged for hours with rewarding feedback and immersive experiences. This addiction can pose serious dangers to kids, including decreased physical activity, disrupted sleep patterns, and difficulties in focusing on schoolwork and social interactions.
Many popular games today also include features like group and private messaging, which open the door to a host of online dangers like scams, sextortion, cyberbullying, and more.
Social media usage has been linked to increased levels of anxiety, depression, and exposure to online bullying, which can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional well-being.
Constant comparisons to others, often curated to show only the “best” moments, can contribute to body dysmorphia and lower self-esteem, especially in young, impressionable minds. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General has even suggested adding warning labels to social media platforms due to their harmful effects on young users.
By delaying or limiting access to social media, parents can help their children develop healthier relationships with technology and safeguard their mental health during critical developmental years.
The internet is a vast, unfiltered space, and young users can easily stumble upon inappropriate content such as pornography, graphic violence, and other disturbing material. Beyond that, the internet is rife with biased or misleading information, which can shape a child’s understanding of the world in unhealthy ways.
Without the maturity or critical thinking skills to navigate these risks, children can be exposed to content that impacts their emotional development and worldview. By providing phones for kids without internet browsers, parents can protect their children from these dangers while gradually introducing safer, monitored ways to explore the web.
Parents should also consider the risks associated with unmonitored messaging on their children’s phones.
This feature can expose kids to a host of dangers, including the potential for bullying, and sending or receiving inappropriate messages. Unmonitored messaging creates an environment where children may encounter harmful content or be pressured to engage in conversations that make them uncomfortable.
The anonymity of digital communication can lead to negative interactions, which can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional well-being. In recent years, sextortion has become a particularly alarming threat, with perpetrators often using messaging platforms to manipulate and exploit young users.
Kids do need increasing amounts of autonomy as they mature so it’s important to approach monitoring in the right way. By working to strike the right balance, parents can help safeguard their children from these vulnerabilities and promote healthier communication practices, ensuring that their interactions remain positive and age-appropriate.
Set up a regular time every few days to review phone use together. Answer your kids’ questions as they come up. Most importantly, share the steps you’re taking to not be mastered by your own phone.
Different circumstances and times may call for a change to your family’s rules. That’s fine. However, don’t compromise on the following:
Kids benefit greatly from family mealtimes. Studies show that these kids have healthier eating habits, better nutrition, higher self-esteem, lower rates of substance abuse and depression, and do better academically.
Like any relationship, family life requires the investment of focused time. Neither kids or adults should have their phones out during dinnertime. And if they are, there should be consequences for whoever the culprit — kid or adult — is.
Remember, your kids look to you to know what behaviors are acceptable. Putting your phone away at the table sends the right message.
To help ensure a child’s safety while maintaining a sense of autonomy, parents can utilize technology like Gabb Messenger.
Rather than resorting to invasive spying, which can undermine a child’s privacy, parents can monitor communications in a respectful way. Gabb Messenger allows for the flagging of potentially dangerous messages without constant oversight, fostering open discussions about online interactions and communication.
This approach supports kids’ development while alerting parents to issues that may require attention, striking a balance between protection and independence.
While getting a new phone can be exciting, it’s essential to establish that it won’t replace in-person activities. Face-to-face interactions are vital for building strong relationships and developing social skills. Engaging in activities with friends and family fosters emotional connections, creates lasting memories, and results in greater life satisfaction.
Additionally, spending time outdoors is crucial for physical health and mental well-being, providing opportunities for exercise and exploration. By prioritizing real-life experiences over screen time, children can enjoy a balanced lifestyle that supports their overall development and happiness.
Deciding to give your child their first phone is undoubtedly a difficult decision, filled with mixed emotions. Parents want to ensure their child’s safety while also preventing feelings of isolation that may come if they feel like the only one of their friends not on the latest app or device. It’s a hard problem to solve, especially alone.
Talking openly with your children, the parents of their friends, teachers at their schools, and others in the community will make the problem much easier to solve. Collective action is crucial in helping families and communities come together to establish guidelines and expectations that foster healthier childhoods. Technology should complement our children’s lives rather than define them.
Gabb is committed to that goal. It’s a philosophy that guides everything we do, including the design of our products. A Gabb cell phone checks every item on the list of needs and protection, while eliminating the risky extras such as addictive games, internet browsers, and social media apps.
We also understand the stakes around a safe phone for kids. It’s our goal to help parents make the right choice, not necessarily the easy one.