Do Smartphones Stunt Social Skills?

In a hyper-connected world where screens dominate our every interaction, the art of genuine conversation might be slipping through our fingers. Are smartphones silently reshaping how we connect with others? And what are our kids learning from this? 

Dr. Sherry Turkle, a renowned MIT sociologist, has spent decades studying the impact of technology on human relationships. Her findings are startling: nearly 90% of people admit to checking their phones during conversations, even though 80% recognize this habit chips away at meaningful interaction. 

As parents, we’re setting the stage for the next generation — but what if our example is teaching them to scroll instead of engage?

The Keys to Success — More than Just Smarts

Social-emotional intelligence influences how we interact with peers, caregivers, and society at large. These skills include identifying and communicating feelings, empathizing, and regulating one’s own emotions. 

Developing these skills throughout childhood is successful when parents, teachers, and the extended social circle model these behaviors. Providing kids with opportunities to practice is crucial, and as it turns out, vital to success.

Intelligence and opportunity have traditionally been seen as the key predictors of success. However, psychological research highlights the crucial role of social skills in achieving success. These include the ability to build and sustain relationships, navigate emotions effectively, and stay focused on goals and behaviors that drive learning and personal growth.

And as it turns out, social skills must be learned. They are not personality traits. Healthy communication and exposure to these behaviors will help our kids form deep connections with those around them.

Are Phones Affecting Social Skills?

By age 11, nearly half of kids have their own cell phone. What’s more, a 2024 Pew Research study found that teens say they’re on their phones “almost constantly.” In many cases, kids are spending as much time looking at their phones as they are doing any other activity — including sleeping. Obviously this is going to have an impact on them. But exactly how do cell phones affect children’s social skills?

Smartphones are designed to capture and hold our attention, making it difficult for many people to put them down. This constant engagement not only distracts us but also fosters feelings of social isolation and, in many cases, social anxiety. 

A growing number of users experience nomophobia — a fear of being disconnected from their phones or losing access to mobile connectivity. The relentless cycle of checking notifications and maintaining a heightened state of always being online deepens our reliance on devices, often at the expense of face-to-face interactions and emotional well-being.

For parents concerned about these effects on their kids, safe alternatives provide a valuable solution. These devices are specifically designed without addictive apps or social media, allowing children to stay connected while avoiding the distractions and dependencies often associated with traditional smartphones. Kid-safe phones can empower families to strike a healthy balance between technology and real-world interaction.

Building Connection Through Boundaries and Communication

Teaching kids connection skills starts with setting clear boundaries, providing meaningful experiences, and fostering open conversations about technology use. 

While these discussions can be challenging, they are essential for helping children navigate a tech-heavy world.

Research shows that when parents engage in patient, two-way conversations about tech limits, children are more likely to understand and follow the guidelines. Collaborating as a family to create a technology plan can reduce smartphone overuse and prevent the social challenges that come with it.

Equally important is leading by example. Parents who avoid behaviors like phubbing — ignoring others to focus on their phones — set a powerful precedent. Studies suggest that when parents model healthy tech habits, children are less likely to develop smartphone dependency. 

By building a family culture that defines when and why media use is appropriate, parents can instill lasting habits and boundaries that empower kids to use technology responsibly.

Practical Ways to Help Kids Build Social Skills

Developing strong social skills requires intentionality. Here are some practical strategies to help kids connect more deeply with others:

1. Encourage Face-to-Face Interaction
   Organize playdates, family gatherings, or group activities that give kids the chance to practice conversation and teamwork. Activities like board games or team sports foster cooperation and communication.
2. Teach Active Listening
   Help children understand the value of paying attention to others. Model and practice skills like maintaining eye contact, asking thoughtful questions, and responding appropriately.
3. Role-Play Common Scenarios
   Use role-playing to prepare kids for social interactions, such as introducing themselves, resolving conflicts, or expressing gratitude. This builds confidence and prepares them for real-world situations.
4. Limit Screen Time During Social Activities
   Set guidelines for screen-free meals, family game nights, or outings. This helps children engage fully with those around them and understand the importance of being present.
5. Volunteer Together
   Participating in community service allows kids to experience empathy and understand different perspectives. These experiences naturally enhance their ability to connect with others.
6. Highlight Positive Online Behaviors
   Teach kids how to communicate respectfully in digital spaces. When they are ready for digital communication and social media, encourage them to use these as a way to strengthen, rather than replace, in-person relationships.

What strategies have you used to help your kids develop strong social skills? Have you found any creative ways to balance technology use in your family? Share your experiences and ideas in the comments below.

Author Jackie Baucom

Jackie is a Gabb staff writer. She is the mother of four children and is passionate about keeping kids safe, happy, loved, and thriving. She has a degree in Mass Communication from the University of Utah.